24- hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 269-385-3587 or 24- hour Sexual Assault Hotline: 269-385-3587

EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ASSAULT

EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ASSAULT

Abuse of women and men is a serious problem in the United States and occurs among all classes and races of people. Domestic assault can happen to anyone. One way to protect yourself from becoming a victim is to know and watch for warning signs.
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
• DOES YOUR PARTNER: SEEM TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE IN THE BEGINNING?
• WANT TO MOVE IN TOGETHER, GET MARRIED, OR HAVE A BABY WHEN YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER A SHORT TIME?
• LOSE HIS OR HER TEMPER OVER SMALL THINGS AND BREAK OR THROW THINGS WHEN ANGRY?
• ABUSE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS?
• HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD?
• HAVE A HISTORY OF ABUSING PREVIOUS PARTNERS?
• KEEP TABS ON YOU AND WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN, WHO YOU HAVE BEEN WITH AND WHY, WHENEVER YOU’VE GONE OUT?
• DEMAND TO KNOW YOUR VOICEMAIL, EMAIL, OR SOCIAL NETWORKING PASSWORDS.
• EXPECT YOU TO FOLLOW ORDERS OR ADVICE?
• RIDICULE YOU, SAY YOU ARE STUPID, OR CALL YOU OTHER NAMES?
• HAVE STRONG TRADITIONAL ROLE IDEAS FOR MEN AND WOMEN?
• PLAY WITH GUNS, KNIVES, OR OTHER WEAPONS?
• TREAT YOU ROUGHLY OR FORCEFULLY?
• HAVE EXTREME HIGHS AND LOWS IN MOODS, (OFTEN DESCRIBED AS Dr. JEKYLL/MR. HYDE), ALMOST AS IF HE OR SHE WERE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE?
• THREATEN TO REPORT YOU TO C.P.S., D.H.S., OR TO MAKE YOU LOOSE YOUR JOB OR HOUSING?
• BLAME OTHER PEOPLE AND OUTSIDE EVENTS FOR PERSONAL INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR?
• COERCE YOU SEXUALLY? (INSISTING ON SEX, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO)
• KEEP TABS ON YOU THROUGH YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES?
• TREAT ANIMALS CRUELY?
• SHOW EXTREME JEALOUSY AND POSESSION OF YOU, EVEN WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY?
• HAVE A HISTORY OF FAMILY VIOLENCE? (ABUSED AS A CHILD OR WITNESSED ABUSE OF A PARENT)
ASK THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF:
• ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOU DO NOT STATE YOUR OPINION BECAUSE YOU FEEL IMTIMIDATED BY YOUR PARTNER?
• ARE YOU EVER AFRAID YOUR PARTNER WILL HIT YOU OR LOSE HIS OR HER TEMPER?
• DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITES THAT YOU DO NOT ENJOY BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID TO SAY YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE?
• DO YOU FEEL YOUR PARTNER IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR OPINION?
• DO YOU PUT YOUR VALUES ASIDE IN ORDER TO PLEASE OR CONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER?
• HAVE YOU DETACHED YOURSELF FROM YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY IN ORDER TO KEEP THE PEACE WITH YOUR PARTNER?
• DOES SOLVING YOUR PARTNER’S PROBLEMS OR RELIEVING HIS OR HER PAIN BOLSTER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM?
• DO YOU VALUE YOUR PARTNER’S OPINION AND WAY OF DOING THINGS MORE THAN YOU DO YOUR OWN?
• DO YOU FIND THAT FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF STEMS FROM RECEVING APPROVAL FROM YOUR PARTNER?
• DO YOU FEEL YOUR MENTAL ATTENTION IS FOCUSED ON PLEASING OR PROTECTING YOUR PARTNER?
• ARE YOU MORE IN TOUCH WITH HOW YOUR PARTNER FEELS THAN HOW YOU FEEL?
• DO YOU FIND YOURSELF MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR PARTNER’S INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR?
• ARE YOU MORE AWARE OF WHAT YOUR PARTNER WANTS THAN WHAT YOU WANT?
• DOES YOUR FEAR OF REJECTION BY YOUR PARTNER DETERMINE WHAT YOU SAY OR DO?
• DO YOU FEEL POWERLESS, AS IF NOTHING YOU DO MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO YOUR PARTNER?
• DO YOU EXPECT YOURSELF TO ALWAYS BE STRONG, GOOD, PERFECT, AND HAPPY?

IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO MANY OR SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS, YOU MAY BE IN A HIGH-RISK CATEGORY FOR DOMESTIC ASSAULT.

For shelter, counseling, safety planning or more information, contact:

YWCA Domestic Assault Program
353 E. Michigan Ave.
Kalamazoo, MI 49007
24-hour Crisis Line: (269) 385-3587
Business Line: (269) 385-2869

Empower
Yourself
Learn more, get safe,
get involved

Power and Control Wheel
This circle illustrates the many forms of abuse other than physical abuse.  They are present in abusive relationships, whether they are accompanied by physical violence or not.  Most victims from domestic abuse report that these other forms of power and control are more difficult to identify and to live with due to their subtlety.

Rueda de Poder y Control
DINAMICA DE LA VIOLENCIA DOMESTICA

Emergency Services
If you are a victim of domestic or sexual violence and need help:

YWCA Domestic Assault Program
24 Hour Crisis Line
(269) 385-3587

 

YWCA Sexual Assault Program
24 Hour Crisis Line
(269) 385-3587

All Police departments in the Kalamazoo, MI Area: 911

Bronson Trauma and Emergency Care:
(269) 341-7654
Borgess Emergency and Trauma Center:
(269) 226-7000